Choosing Not to Speak

Yesterday Popeyes had an amazing sale; 8 pieces of chicken for $4.99. Putting aside then my immediate pessimistic thoughts ( Thinking the chicken is probably ten years old, or something equally negative), I thought this was the greatest thing to happen in my life since figuring out the parental control password to the Internet at my house.

You can actually say that I like fried chicken, hell you can say that I would consider murdering the new born baby from the Children of Men for a two piece and a biscuit. But I have better sense then that. The people waiting on line at Popeyes yesterday, however, not so much.

I was hearing stories about how this one huge black guy, after waiting in line for one hour, reached the counter- money in hand - ready to take advantage of this wonderful deal had been instructed to turn around and exit the store because all the chicken had run out. Now, if was in this situation I would be mad. I would make a fuss and give disparaging remarks like,

" Are you sure the chicken is done? You know tomorrow the price is gonna go back up; you can't sell it on the street as if it were crack. You can become a famous rapper some other way. Ever consider being shot in the face? "

Rude and grotesque I know, but I would have left with my dignity after that. How did the 6-5, 350 lb line backer respond to such news? How any ginormous hungry ape would. He allegedly ransacked the store, hopped the counter and beat up the fry cook in the back. I know this sounds a little extreme, and I'm sure if this is true that guy is tasting more pig than chicken in his jail cell right now. But still!

Do black people love fried chicken that much? Unfortunately I believe so. Dave Chappelle said it best,
"Black people are genetically predisposed to liking chicken" there is nothing that can be done about it.

So, a word to Popeyes. Next time you decide to offer sales/marketing ploys involving your chicken, please be sure to only advertise in Wisconsin, North Dakota, South Dakota or any other state where you won't find people who are already in love with your product. The children will thank you.