Choosing Not to Speak

It's been over a month since my IPhone was either stolen or misplaced during my boondoggle in Hoboken. Ever since then I have not been the same. And aside from me waking up at three in the morning, in cold sweats, schmaltz-ed at the reminiscence of my long lost sidekick (and im not trying to make reference to that horrid T-mobile phone). I get constant reminders of how important the IPhone was to me and civilization

The best example I can give without crying, is when I failed my corporate finance midterm two weeks ago because I was unable to figure out how to input the complicated math formulas onto regular calculator. A problem that I never had when I owned an IPhone, because of the financial calculator app I purchased at the beginning of the semester.

How does my lost phone affect civilization? Simple. If I am destined for greatness - which most people agree with me that I am : ) - I can't have my life turned upside due to lack of proper equipment. Me without an IPhone is like King Arther without his sword, Duke Nukem without his kick ass shot gun and most rememberable catch phrase "bitchn."

Camelot can not be saved with a Samsung I607 (Black Jack). And the Zombies/Aliens will take over this planet to eat the brains of children everywhere, if I don't get my IPhone back.
So please whoever has my IPhone, PLEASE be kind enough to realize impact you can have on someones life by returning his one true love.