Choosing Not to Speak

Strong Poet. Strong Piece... Please Re-post

Client: Sony, PS3 (France)
Agency: Rewiind
Production: Les Fées Production
Director: Lee Shulman

I'm sorry, but they are really trying to make these commercials as lude as possible. The comments and the faces are ridiculously funny.

A strong message delivered by PETA (not sure of the agency).

There's no "safe for work" verb to fill in the above blank. slip, squirt, club... Nothing. They're all just dirty, or misanthropic, but that may just be my perverse brain at work. So, I gave my more perverse friends a shot. They gave me words like, "caulk, pickle, diddle." And my favorite, "filch."...they never offer any good help.

By the way, can you filch all over someones face? I know what it means, but it sounds like a dump and a money shot wrapped loosely in a Polish sausage casing. Which granted is a little over the top, but who would want to "filch" all over someones face anyway? Can you clean something like that off? (the thought is killing me, but I digress...).

Trying to solve my on going dilemma I realized you can add a noun to the sentence to change the focus (e.g., I want to put makeup all over your face). I think that defeats the purpose though. It doesn't have the same intonation by just saying , " I want to put all over your face," or if your Tiger Woods, " I want to putt all over your face." And being that Tiger is a true sportsman and knowing what's been going on in his life, he probably would use a nine iron instead. I wonder if he banged a Polish chick? You think she let him filch all over her face?

1. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t know pain. Thank you. You have taught me that without pressure there is no diamond. I hope my shine blinds you into seeing how much you hurt helped me. When you come into contact with me raise me to your face and stare into your imperfection. Cut your self with my hard edges and remember the times you cut me. Next time consider suicide before you are birthed.

2. If you were a book, you’d be an erotic novel, sultry and magnetic. There were times when I forgot I wasn’t breathing. Your suspense fed me. I clothed my self with your passion. I wrapped you around my neck for warmth, and you kicked the chair from under me. I just got back on my feet from that fall from heaven. I am glad we are strangers now. Maybe next lifetime we can keep it that way.

3. I am a sorcerer. You are a witch. We learn from each other, but should realize that two magnets of the same pole should not get too close. From a distance I send you this sigil of love, success and consciousness…. My equal, but opposite.

4. My sweat pants are still in your dresser. Keep them. I’m sure he thinks they are his by now.

5. There are demons inside of you that I do not wish to know. If they kill you tomorrow I will slant my eyes and look between the cracks in the air to pull you back, just in time to light the hookah and share my philosophy of how we are all going to die some day anyway.

6. Durex condoms are like Hulk Hogan's T-shirts. Too small and easily ripped. Next time I’ll spend the extra two bucks for the Trojans, but not with you.

7. You get my favorite number. You were once my favorite person. Or at least I thought you were. I threw my self at your altar and smelled my flesh burn in your temple. Incense to your pseudo godess. You never came to collect my offering. I just found out they sell you in vending machines at Six Flags. Thank you for never playing games with me. Thank you for never getting to know me. Those three years were wonderfully ignorant.

8. I find myself wanting to be like you sometimes. I find myself looking down on you sometimes. I sometimes steal your words as if they belong to Moses and blaspheme your name behind your back, because you are that much cooler than I. I realize why girls are always talking about you.

9. I was cleaning under my desk today and found a pencil with your name on it. I have drawn a line that has circumnavigated the globe, but still I can’t write the right words that will lead to your celestial heart. It’s hard being beautiful, smart and rich. I know. Don’t abuse that privilege. A metaphor, or a swift strike of my pen will end your fanciful existence and bring you back down to the earth. Until then I hope my wings are strong enough to meet you in that place. I’ll probably loose interest tomorrow.

10. To I. the Philosophers Stone unturned. Do not forget yourself, listen to the silence in the wind storm and you will find All. The objective mind is but a gate keeper to the subjective mind, cultivate thought and own the sword… The words of wisdom are only open the ears of understanding.

Yes, Flavor Flav has found another way to destroy our ear canals with more inaudible music.