Choosing Not to Speak

Figuring out how to write -develop a voice- has to be the most difficult challenge ever- in life. Sentence structure, conceptual themes, communicating effectively, putting it all together; the difficulty is in the fact that it’s difficult. Especially when you know you are good at what you do- without having anything to show people otherwise. It’s as if you have a hidden talent in the form of a golden egg covered in shit and wrapped in bacon. The first bite may be good, but if you want to get yolk you have to clean up the crap under the surface. This really isn’t for everyone. You need a strong stomach. Sometimes (a lot of times) I don’t think it’s for me either. I guess I have to continue based on faith. Which means something, I guess.

FAITH! What is that? What makes parishioners believe that their prayers will dissolve all of their problems? You see them every Sunday with calluses on their knees from years at the pew- reeking of the same problems. Can we believe in a heaven or hell when no one has ever come back from the dead to verify? Isn’t faith total belief in an outcome based on probability; where the probability is based on prior substantiated knowledge that gives you reason to actually believe without equivocation?

Whatever the case may be I’ll assume in my case the prior substantiated knowledge is the fact that someone else did it before. Or has been believed to accomplish something before. Someone somewhere came up with the theory of heaven and hell and sold it as if they themselves have been there, or came into contact with someone (something) that could give them the knowledge of this apparently non-falsifiable concept.

There was human being out there to have been in my same position as me at some point: an observant thinker that has yet to be able to express fluently on paper the way he can in speech. I have faith that person, whether famous, or not, greatly increased my probability of brushing of this dirty ass egg.